He’s not dead, he’s stoned from cannabis oil!

Stoned

Since being diagnosed with cancer in 2011, my family and I have been aware that the end would come one day and it would be unpredictable. On Friday the 13 June 2014 the “grim reaper” came for me at 3:00 am, I apologized to Janette for not being easy to live with (according to her my exact words were “sorry for being such an arse for the past couple of years”) , as I felt the life ebbing away. I said my goodbyes, closed my eyes drifting into a parallel universe. I remember feeling surprised that death felt so easy and calming as I floated away to rest in peace for ever and ever.

The bright light made it difficult to open my eyes. The light dims like a beautiful sunset and I can focus, I see a man with long hair and beard. There is a light behind him, he is holding my hand, leaning over, he tells me to breath slowly. Am I still alive? “I am a paramedic” the man says, “you have taken too much cannabis oil” ( this being my latest unorthodox cancer treatment).

I have had so many funny experiences whilst living with cancer, mostly at the expense of others, so I suspect my friends will enjoy this story` the most.

I smoked my first joint in the summer of 1972. My mother had gone out for the night and my school friend, Marc MacDonald, and I had bought some “shit” as we called it (it smelt, tasted and looked like it) and rolled a joint and smoked it. It is not unusual that it does not agree with you the first time and it did not agree me. I lay on the bed in this smoke filled room, trying to enjoy the music but I just felt sick. The room had started to spin when there was a knock on the door.

“Richard come out, there is someone here I want you to meet”. Fuck! My mother was home. “Can’t I do it tomorrow, I am really tired?” “No you have to come now, I have something to tell you” she replied and she kept knocking. I went to the door, if only to stop the knocking which was vibrating through my skull, hoping I could get out the door without Mammy noticing the smoke. She hated smoking, Granny smoked a pack a day. Hopefully the incense we had burned would cover my tracks.

I opened the door. The smoke hit her, like a steam train exiting a tunnel. My mother was not like other mothers she did not head straight for the jugular, preferring the slow torturing method for her victims. She smiled, “did you have a fun evening?” she asked. Yes, I am thinking, get this meeting over with. But no, she started telling me about her evening. I am thinking, great she hasn’t even noticed the clouds of smoke or the distinct smell cannabis as I prop myself up against the door frame. I am going to pull this off, I am thinking to myself, but she went on and on for what seemed like an eternity. I was not meant to be upright, I could feel the blood draining from my head and a buildup of pressure in my stomach as I listened to her prattling on, no longer words more like an electric drill entering my skull. I can’t take it any more, I feel the metallic taste in my mouth the sweat starts to bubble on my forehead, I am going to be sick. I walked by her without a word, past some guy waiting on the landing, on my way towards the toilet. The plan was to kneel and put my head in the toilet, but I was too late. As though a fire hydrant hit by a car, the projectile vomit exploded from me hitting the cistern and wall. By the time I got my head into the toilet most had gone. I felt better and more comfortable and wondered if I could spend the rest of my life here. I had water and men have lived for 70 days on just water.

Mammys wedding 1

Now her tone was different. “Have you been taking drugs?” she shouted in her best “Kommandant” tone. I am wondering whether I could answer without removing my head from the toilet. I imagine the “guy” on the landing wearing an SS uniform going “ve have vays and means of making you talk”. I lift my head “yes”. I put my head back in the toilet. “I am calling the police” she shouted. I go “great, at least I will be able to lie down in a cell.” I am a bit surprised by her reaction, I thought she would have been cooler about it. “You have ruined the happiest day of my life, this is Sean. He has asked me to marry him”! Better get up before the vomit sticks my knees to the floor, I thought. I would have offered Sean my hand after wiping the vomit on my jeans, but did not think it made it more presentable. I looked him over, nodded and returned to my room to wait for the police. They were never called. Mammy married Sean the following year and they lived happily ever after, had a few too many that day as well. Loved having to ask the priests for the weekend off to go to my mothers wedding, divorce was forbidden in Ireland so parents getting married, was not a usual occurrence.  Sean and I have started to get on better in recent years, mind you he is 87 and has started to develop dementia. Fair to say I was not an easy kid, we are now labeled ADHD and given another drug, called Ritalin.

In June 2014, I finished my treatment regime at the Royal Marsden. Four weeks’ intensive chemotherapy and a type of Laser radiation (Cyber knife) designed to destroy the cancerous growths which had metastasised to the lymph nodes around the aorta.  I have few complaints about my medical treatment for cancer. Crude as it is, it’s the best they have, to slow down the progress of out of control cell proliferation in the human body. Unfortunately, the biomedical model has become so dependent on the pharmaceutical industry for published research, they are not investigating a number of interventions that people claim to have helped them cope with cancer and the side effects of treatment.

One of the anecdotal treatments that keeps getting mentioned during the last 3 years is cannabis oil and there are a number of small studies to support its use, this is an explanation of how the cannabis  works  . I had nothing to lose. About 2 months ago a friend had got in touch with me asking for advice about his recent diagnosis of prostate cancer. He wasn’t keen to undergo the orthodox route and decided on the cannabis oil treatment that he’d read about. However, after taking a capsule of oil, he was stoned for 3 days and could not work. So he decided that he would to go the orthodox route, which has gone well, and he offered me his stash of cannibal oil.

I decided I would try it after finishing my chemo and radiation treatment. in June 6th I started and put a small amount on my finger at 9 o’clock in the morning (see video). By11 o’clock nothing had happened and a friend called asking me for a game of golf ten minutes away. So I said “fine”, went straight to first tee and then suddenly I started to feel the effect. I told Brendan that I had to go as I didn’t feel well and ran to the car. I had a very short time to get home or I would be laid out in the golf club, like the scene in the movie “Wolf of Wall Street”.

I made it home in one piece and was out of it for the next 12 hours as you can see in the video. So for the next 2 days I just took very small amounts and slept really well and thought the golf incident was going to be the story.

On the Thursday, the World Cup started and the first game was Brazil v Croatia. I took a little bit more before the match, thinking, by the time it takes effect it will be time to go to bed.

acid-witch-stoned-cover

I went to bed after the match finished as I felt the effects begin and went straight to sleep. I don’t know how soon it started but I began to have the most horrendous nightmare about death and dying. There were 10 grim reapers on horseback, charging towards me, laughing at the fact I say cancer has never caused me a sleepless night. Now I was going to get three years of fear in one night. I was hallucinating that they were on the ceiling and it was spinning faster and faster. It was like a scene from a Harry Potter movie. It was like I was in the middle of  Michelangelo’s “Last Judgment” surrounded by zombies telling me to kill myself as it would be easier than dying from cancer.

Eventually I woke up because my mouth and throat were bone dry. There was no saliva whatsoever, I tried to get up to go to the bathroom to get a drink but could not stand. Then I swallowed and my epiglottis got stuck closing my airways for a few seconds. I started to panic got last bit of air in lungs out which opened airways again. I called Janette asking her what time it was hoping the worst was over. 1 am she says. Christ, it’s only the start, I must be having a stroke, I thought. Janette got me a glass of water but I could not sit up to drink so I put my fingers in the glass to wet my mouth and thought I was going to be sick. I had a longing for one of the kids’ ice pops but that also made me feel ill. I felt this tightness in my chest, perhaps it was a heart attack I was having. Either way I was convinced I was about to die.

My hands and feet have lost about 20% of sensation after chemotherapy but now the woolly sensation was moving up my arms and legs (I now know it was because of the way I was breathing, which was causing me to hyperventilate). I asked Janette to get the kids asI wanted to say my goodbyes. She says NO! as she did want to alarm them. We had been preparing them for this moment for three years and rightly so, she wanted to be sure I was dying before subjecting them to such an ordeal. She didn’t think I was dying, but could not rule out a stroke, but she didn’t think someone who was dying would continuously saying; “I am going”.

The state I was in, I could not believe she was denying me my Hollywood death, light on my face surrounded by my kids, I did not have the strength to argue.  I apologised for being so difficult to live with and thanked her for being such a good mother to the kids. She asked if she should call an ambulance? I said it was too late, I was going fast, so she rings the ambulance. She tells them what has happened and I may be having some kind of anaphylactic reaction to the cannabis, so soon after the chemotherapy treatment.

The 999 operator asked to speak to me about my symptoms, I describe them and she tells me they will be there soon and to hang on, I thank her but tell her it’s too late. It’s 3am, I feel the life ebbing from my body, I was surprised how easy it was. I told Janette to tell the kids loved them and I was gone.

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Thirty minutes later I hear this man’s voice and I realiz, I was still alive. The man was the first paramedic who rushed to the scene to “save” me. He was taking my blood pressure, having checked my vitals, and was telling Janette I had probably taken too much cannabis. I wanted to speak but words would not come out, I tried to open my eyes but the light in the room was strong. They turned out the light allowing the light from the corridor to lighten the room. I opened one eye and could see this man sitting on the bed, the light from the corridor was behind him, outlining his long hair. As I opened the other eye, I saw he had a beard. I look at him in astonishment and gasped; “it’s no wonder I thought I was dying, you look like Jesus! Wearing the green of Ireland to welcome me into heaven. He laughed and told me to concentrate on slow breathing and not to breathe so deeply. Straight away I started to feel better. Then the ambulance arrives.

Blood pressure and heart rate are normal, he tells them. Blood oxygen levels are low because he is hyperventilating and that’s the problem. It had been coming in waves and I kept saying fuck, fuck like a chicken clucking. They were unsure whether I should go into hospital for observation, because of the chemo treatment I had been having. I was feeling a lot better, I told them it was their call but I was confident I was ok. Although I have been stoned like this before, I had never experienced anything like the earlier hallucinations and paranoia.

I must have been ok, as I started to have fun with the paramedic, I say to the two from the ambulance. “How the fuck can a paramedic be allowed to look like Jesus? Someone gets run over, they’re unconscious, they start to come round, and seeing Jesus standing over them is not going to do them much good“. The two from the ambulance were much younger than the paramedic, who was probably in his 50s and looked like an old hippy, and they laughed. This sent me into absolute hysterics. I am pointing at the poor paramedic and breaking into hysterical fits of laughter on the bed.

Janette looks mortified and the paramedic goes and he says “if you don’t mind me saying you are a bit old to start experimenting with drugs”. I laugh and tell him I am a child of the 60s and he tells me the stuff around today is way stronger than anything I would have have smoked back in the day. I tell them, I have had thirty six cycles of chemotherapy and walked out of each one and never experienced anything like this. Something must have happened in my body tonight. If I have cured the cancer you will have to bear witness, our house will be like the shrine in Lourdes people will be coming from all over the world to see where the miracle happened and touch the people involved.

Fortunately it was a quiet night for the ambulance service and they were all laughing by now. I suppose it makes a change for them coming to a scene where it’s just a middle aged man making a fool of himself.

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When the ambulance service gets called to drug related incidences they have to inform the police because crime may be involved. No idea if the police were informed, but the paramedic told his office that I was just a silly old man trying s spliff for the first time! I told them I was embarrassed they had to come out to save me, they said it was a quiet night and they had enjoyed the experience and a funny story to share with colleagues. Molly woke up came into the bedroom, “What’s going on”? she asked. Janette told some friends of Daddy’s had come over for a party. She is looking at the three people in green, wondering why we are having a party in the bedroom in the middle of the night. She was only 10 so would not have heard of swingers, she went back to bed and the men and women in green said their goodbyes, it was still dark as I put my head down and Janette said you owe me big time, I said yes. Then she tells me; “Christmas is with my family this year“! I wanted to get stoned again!

As I lay down to sleep another cold sweat came over me, imagine if Janette had got the children up and I had put them through my “last” moments, something they will have to go through it one day. That’s why I can laugh about this experience today and dont feel to embarrassed about sharing the story. You have to be able to laugh at yourself, when you spend you life taking the piss out of others.  In addition subsequently they have become knowledgeable about the potential unpleasant effects of recreational drugs and are more likely to say NO!

51 Comments

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  5. Словом, ад. нотариус адрес метро – Сознайся, – тихо по-гречески спросил Пилат, – ты великий врач? – Нет, прокуратор, я не врач, – ответил арестант, с наслаждением потирая измятую и опухшую багровую кисть руки. Нотариус Сокол Твое. Нотариус Руденко Андрей Юрьевич Плясали: Драгунский, Чердакчи, маленький Денискин с гигантской Штурман Жоржем, плясала красавица архитектор Семейкина-Галл, крепко схваченная неизвестным в белых рогожных брюках.

  6. Жилец приказал Анфисе, преданной и давней домашней работнице Анны Францевны, сказать, в случае если ему будут звонить, что он вернется через десять минут, и ушел вместе с корректным милиционером в белых перчатках. микрокредит онлайн Ах, какая выходила скверная штука! Что же это с памятью, граждане? А? Однако дольше задерживаться в передней было неудобно, и Степа тут же составил план: всеми мерами скрыть свою невероятную забывчивость, а сейчас первым долгом хитро выспросить у иностранца, что он, собственно, намерен сегодня показывать во вверенном Степе Варьете? Тут Степа повернулся от аппарата и в зеркале, помещавшемся в передней, давно не вытираемом ленивой Груней, отчетливо увидел какого-то странного субъекта – длинного, как жердь, и в пенсне (ах, если б здесь был Иван Николаевич! Он узнал бы этого субъекта сразу!). Займер Придя, был встречен домработницей Груней, которая объяснила, что сама она только что пришла, что она приходящая, что Берлиоза дома нет, а что если визитер желает видеть Степана Богдановича, то пусть идет к нему в спальню сам. Займер Секретарь почтительно вложил в эту руку кусок пергамента. клик мани Первый из них – приблизительно сорокалетний, одетый в серенькую летнюю пару, – был маленького роста, темноволос, упитан, лыс, свою приличную шляпу пирожком нес в руке, а аккуратно выбритое лицо его украшали сверхъестественных размеров очки в черной роговой оправе. Займ Онлайн Что касается зубов, то с левой стороны у него были платиновые коронки, а с правой – золотые. OneClickMoney Тогда Степа отколол такую штуку: стал на колени перед неизвестным курильщиком и произнес: – Умоляю, скажите, какой это город? – Однако! – сказал бездушный курильщик.

  7. – Фу ты черт! – воскликнул редактор. ремонт окон Кстати, скажи: верно ли, что ты явился в Ершалаим через Сузские ворота верхом на осле, сопровождаемый толпою черни, кричавшей тебе приветствия как бы некоему пророку? – тут прокуратор указал на свиток пергамента. переделать окно из поворотного в поворотно откидное При каждом слове кто-то втыкал ему иголку в мозг, причиняя адскую боль. москитные сетки на пластиковые окна – Нет, уж кого-кого, а тебя-то я не помилую, – с тихой ненавистью сказал Иван Николаевич. замена уплотнителя Свидание это было чрезвычайно кратко.

  8. Утром выяснилось, что и Анфисы нет! Об исчезнувших и о проклятой квартире долго в доме рассказывали всякие легенды, вроде того, например, что эта сухонькая и набожная Анфиса будто бы носила на своей иссохшей груди в замшевом мешочке двадцать пять крупных бриллиантов, принадлежащих Анне Францевне. нотариальный перевод бюро переводов Тогда он постарался представить себе, в какую именно причудливую форму выльется гнев вспыльчивого прокуратора при этой неслыханной дерзости арестованного. нотариальное заверение перевода «Что же это такое, – подумал он, – уж не схожу ли я с ума? Откуда ж эти отражения?!» Он заглянул в переднюю и испуганно закричал: – Груня! Какой тут кот у нас шляется? Откуда он? И кто-то еще с ним?! – Не беспокойтесь, Степан Богданович, – отозвался голос, но не Груни, а гостя из спальни, – кот этот мой. перевод узбекского паспорта – Именно, именно, – закричал он, и левый зеленый глаз его, обращенный к Берлиозу, засверкал, – ему там самое место! Ведь говорил я ему тогда за завтраком: «Вы, профессор, воля ваша, что-то нескладное придумали! Оно, может, и умно, но больно непонятно. проставление апостиля – А вот он, Рюхин! – ответил Иван и ткнул грязным пальцем в направлении Рюхина. консульская легализация иностранных документов услуга Как ни был расстроен Иван, все же его поражала та сверхъестественная скорость, с которой происходила погоня.

  9. На первом – обнаженное, в засохшей крови, тело с перебитой рукой и раздавленной грудной клеткой, на другом – голова с выбитыми передними зубами, с помутневшими открытыми глазами, которые не пугал резчайший свет, а на третьем груда заскорузлых тряпок. 4r3142 Вот моя карточка, паспорт и приглашение приехать в Москву для консультации, – веско проговорил неизвестный, проницательно глядя на обоих литераторов. 6d5824 Она уже опустела. 5w8668 – Почему же вы сердитесь? Разве я сказал вам что-нибудь неприятное? – Мне двадцать три года, – возбужденно заговорил Иван, – и я подам жалобу на вас всех. 8e4274 Один из конвойных легионеров стукнул копьем, передал его другому, подошел и снял веревки с арестанта.

  10. Прокуратор обратился к кентуриону по-латыни: – Преступник называет меня «добрый человек». ближайший нотариус метро Она близоруко прищурилась на ворвавшегося Ивана и, очевидно, обознавшись в адском освещении, сказала тихо и весело: – Кирюшка! Бросьте трепаться! Что вы, с ума сошли?. Нотариус Булавинова Алла Павловна Он смотрел мутными глазами на арестованного и некоторое время молчал, мучительно вспоминая, зачем на утреннем безжалостном ершалаимском солнцепеке стоит перед ним арестант с обезображенным побоями лицом и какие еще никому не нужные вопросы ему придется задавать. Нотариус улица Скобелевская Вследствие этого смертный приговор Га-Ноцри, вынесенный Малым Синедрионом, прокуратор не утверждает.

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  12. But if you’re trying to torch as many calories as attainable in a quick while, certain actions get
    the job carried out better than others. Is it as a outcome of
    you cannot afford or don’t want to method a personal trainer?
    Is it because the trainers in your gym do not understand what you
    need to do? Whatever it is that you’re attempting to achieve it is necessary that you’ve clear goals.
    The program is broken into two exercise days, Day A and Day B.

    It shouldn’t be the number you hit every year when everything aligns perfectly.
    Use a 1RM that’s attainable throughout nearly all of your training periods.

    Lifters have different anthropometries (limb lengths etc) in addition to different strengths and weaknesses, and
    this shall be mirrored in movement variations. Attempting to force
    everyone into the identical field isn’t best. This is an easy and efficient training modality when adopted correctly.

    The beginning power program gained recognition all through the final
    decade. With Stronglifts, lifters may must be more conscious of fatigue, however, as soon as once
    more, the overall coaching quantity just isn’t excessive.

    Meanwhile, the row was added as Mehdi believed the other compound exercises didn’t do sufficient to
    work the muscle tissue of the upper again.
    Bear In Mind that weight ought to only be
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    If you’re nonetheless improving and are consistently including weight to every raise, hold going.

    Some lifters find that they will run this program for
    up to two months or extra. This is again as a outcome of the
    barbell allows you to raise the greatest quantity of weight attainable
    in comparability to other free weights, corresponding to dumbbells and kettlebells.

    If you relaxation less than a minute, you’ll need
    to lower the weight by 17-24% to complete five reps per set (24).
    Whereas this could prevent time, it also reduces your
    coaching intensity. This can harm your power gains if you’re previous the easy beginner gains.
    Remember extra experienced lifters need to coach heavier to extend
    energy (13). Purpose for 1-3 minutes of rest between units, relying on the exercise and your fitness stage.
    Longer rest intervals could also be needed for tougher exercises like squats and deadlifts, while shorter relaxation intervals can be used for workouts like
    bench press and barbell rows.
    Some folks say Madcow 5×5 doesn’t construct muscle as a end result of it has
    no isolation for biceps. But several research have discovered that including isolation to a
    compound routine doesn’t grow the biceps more (13, 14,
    15, sixteen ). Schoenfeld et al in contrast 7 sets
    of 3 reps to 3 units of 10 reps (11). Kubo et al in contrast sets of 4, eight and 12 reps.
    eight and four reps added as much muscle as 12 reps (9).
    Some people declare Madcow 5×5 is simply too low depth.
    They assume the workouts don’t have sufficient heavy units and are too straightforward.

    One of the dumbest things one can do is race
    to the end line – all it does is fuck up your total progress for the
    following couple years. I don’t recall what sort of progression 5/3/1 is, Dave Tate truly had a reputation for it (Waved Progression?) in an article early
    this year / last year, go look it up dick. Does the progression sort of 5/3/1 really even fucking matter?
    I pointed out the type for SL5x5 simply to make some extent as a outcome
    of it’s fairly well documented that linear methods have very real limitations.
    Hell, even the damn spreadsheet for SL5x5 where you input your numbers has a formula in it that indicates if you’re lifts are too robust to use with the program.
    Why use a program with limitations and then switch to something else?

    You can switch all three workout routines and Barbell Rows directly
    if you’d like. They measured restoration time by testing how fast they may raise
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    forty eight hours post-workout when doing 3×10 to failure.
    The group that did 6×5 with out failure recovered faster than the
    one which did 3×10 to failure. Your average RPE for 5×5 straight units ought to
    be 6 to eight. The reply will essentially be the same as the query
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    Nothing is more demoralizing than making an attempt to work with weights
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  15. Man that made me laugh !!!! Fantastic spirit, attitude a really well written ! I wish I could be such a word smith, I am on the same journey with the very same attitude! ! I will NOT let my cancer control me ! I am far to funny, great talking to you mate your an inspiration!!! Check out mycancerstoryrocks and fenbenzadole !!

  16. Very funny, I remember having ‘white outs’ back in the early 80’s. In 1985 at a U2 concert – I was assistant rescued by St John’s Ambulance staff on duty.

    I was laying on a medical table. All I remember is hearing Sunday Bloody Sunday start – I jumped up and went back to the concert!

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  18. Great story Richard. I always know when I’ve taken too much – It awakens that voice in my head which argues with every thought I have. I console myself with the thought that if I feel this high, then the medicine is really that strong.

  19. As someone well acquainted to going out to strangers houses in the early hour of the morning I never had that much fun!

  20. Hi Richard, Sam passed on your link. You are an inspiration and brilliant that you are having an amazing time when you are with it! Your posts made me laugh and your attitude is just brilliant. love Heather xx

  21. You’re amazing and also very funny! Will be sharing your article with my my mum (who was having treatment around the same time as you! ) thank you! “:-)

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